1. Velcro
2. Space travel
3. Computers
4. The Internet
5. Television
6. Cassette recorders
7. CDs and DVDs
8. mp3 players and Ipod
9. Microwave cooking
10. Non-stick saucepans
11. Tumble dryers
12. Mobile phones
13. Colour television
14. Transistor radios
15. Satellites
16. Ultrasound scanning
17. Keyhole surgery
18. Steam irons
19. Pacemaker
20. Artificial heart
21. Soft bifocal contact lens
22. Oil drilling platforms
23. Concorde
24. Fibre optics
25. Nuclear power stations
26. Tupperware.
27. Vinyl floor covering
28. PVC
29. Acrylic paint
30. Carbon fibre
31. Synthetic skin
32. Aqualung
33. Air to air missiles
34. Expresso machines
35. Polaroid and digital cameras
36. Credit cards
37. Lego
38. Hovercraft
39. Musical synthesiser
40. Skateboards
41. Hula hoops
42. Rubik cube
43. Electronic games
44. The pill

Changes in British life style, politics and customs, along with major events since 1965 (when I arrived from NZ)

1. Two (and 3 and 4 car families)
2. The influence of the European Union
3. The rise and fall of the fax machine
4. The ubiquitous computer, internet shopping and emails
5. Mobile phone and text messages
6. The Thatcher years
7. Two desert wars and the Falklands – live warfare on TV
8. M25
9. Decimalisation and the Euro
10. International air travel
11. Sky TV and international TV
12. Top quality prepared foods in supermarkets
13. Makeover programmes
14. 24 hour drinking laws
15. Sunday and 24-hour trading
16. Man on the moon
17. Terrorism in Northern Ireland, spreading to mainland Britain and peace
18. Mass coloured immigration into UK
19. Channel tunnel
20. Clean(er) air
21. The rise and fall of British socialism
22. Packaged holidays and cheap airfares
23. Globalisation: direct trade by individuals with each other around the world

My guesses as to what will happen by 2029

1. Human cloning technology will enable limbs to be re-grown and organs to be repaired
2. A woman will be elected President of the United States.
3. The average person will be able to travel in space
4. Travel from England to New Zealand in less than 4 hours
5. A cure for aging will be discovered – sufficient that the average life expectancy will increase by 50 years
6. All telephone calls will be at the same price – and free
7. There will be no cars
8. Unlimited power sources will become available
9. Technology will replace conventional education
10. Conventional work places will become obsolete

Teachers who influenced me

1. Mr Pressley – Maths teacher. He caned one of the boys in my class for being cheeky to a female teacher. We saw it out of the window in another block. I thought he was going to be cut in two. But he was an inspirational maths teacher.
2. Miss Baird – Latin. Chewed chalk and scraped the duster across the board which set my teeth on edge. I dropped Latin as soon as I could, but I’m glad I took it.
3. “Johnny Ray”. Deputy Head and French. He was a dab hand with the cane as well. Very red faced and got terribly angry.
4. Mr Stacey. Head Master. Gentle man

Wildlife I’ve seen and where

1. A badger crossing Birch Tree Lane
2. Deer crossing in the woods near Warlingham
3. A young adult fox sleeping a few feet away from me at No 40 Kings Hall Road
4. An armadillo in Texas
5. A Blue-footed Boobie in the Galapagos Islands
6. A shark at the Barrier Reef
7. Rhino in a game reserve in South Africa
8. A Kea in South Island of NZ
9. A manta ray just off the Galapagos Islands
10. A 4.5 lb trout I caught at Lake Rotoiti
11. An alligator on her nest in a lake near Orlando and a bald headed eagle at Kennedy Space Station
12. Gannets nesting at Murawai
13. A koala, a snake and a goanna in Queensland
14. A diamond back rattlesnake, a coyote, a chipmunk and a vulture in Phoenix

Books I have enjoyed

1. Cold Mountain – Charles Frazier
2. Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks
3. Les Miserable - Victor Hugo
4. Letters from a Small Island – Bill Bryson
5. The Godfather – Mario Puzio
6. The Wealth and Poverty of Nations
7. Blue Adept – Piers Anthony
8. Lord of the Rings – Tolkein
9. The Complete Short Stories – Sommerset Maughan
10. Property Investment in New Zealand – Martin Hawes
11. Ageless Body, Timeless Mind – Depak Chopra
12. Medea – Euripides
13. The Firm – John Grisham
14. Mission Earth – L Ron Hubbard
15. Christianity Without God – Lloyd Geering
16. The Hitch-hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams

Desert Island Discs – well 15 of them

1. Hey Jude, Beatles
2. It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding), Caetano Veloso
3. The Magic Kingdom (record/book we had as kids)
4. War of the Worlds, Jeff Wayne
5. Living in America, James Brown
6. NZ National Anthem
7. Stranger on the Shore, Acker Bilk
8. Zadok the Priest, Handel
9. Bat out of Hell, Meatloaf
10. Prokovief's Peter and the wolf
11. And when I die, Blood, Sweat and Tears
12. An American Trilogy, Elvis
13. You are so beautiful, Joe Cocker
14. I would walk 500 miles, Proclaimers
15. Goodbye my lover, James Blunt

Things My Wife Can't Cook Like Mum Did

1. Potato Pancakes
2. Brains On Toast
3. Whitebait Fritters
4. Apple Dumplings
5. Fruit Cake
6. Walnut loaf
7. Steak
8. Bread and Butter Pudding
9. Tripe and onions
10. Roast stuffed veal

Things My Wife Can Cook That My Mum Couldn't

1. Vegetables
2. Kedgeree
3. A Roux
4. Anton Mossiman’s Bread and Butter Pudding
5. King Prawns in Garlic
6. Artichokes
7. A Salmon
8. Steak with a mustard sauce
9. Some great deserts – and only corporate calories
10. Bolognaise sauce
11. Takeaway Chinese and Indian

Things Of Which I'm Ashamed

1. Stealing a packet of gum from a shop and bragging about it.
2. Getting drunk and throwing up all through Mum's car.
3. Not cleaning it up afterwards.
4. Not writing home often enough.
5. Seeing an old lady fall over in the street and driving on.
6. Pain I caused leaving Marion and the kids
7. When my company went bust in 1990 I couldn't pay one of our creditors before they went broke themselves

Things I’ll bore my kids with from now till I die

1. My wife and my sons, grandsons and a granddaughter.
2. Owning my own company.
3. Being a school prefect.
4. The last 100 yards of my marathon.
5. Ridge walking on Foinaven.
6. My photograph of the pier at Bognor.
7. Teaching Nicholas to dive – aged 3
8. Rowing in a dragon boat in the World Corporate Games
9. Indianapolis Colts, Hooters Bar, raceway, high school basketball, Purdue university with Dennis Hamilton
10. Walking 300 miles in NZ, from Cape Reinga to Auckland
11. Walking through a beech forest on the Pilgrim’s Way – Winchester to Canterbury
12. Meeting John Major in 10 Downing Street
13. Scuba diving on the Barrier Reef
14. Speaking on tape at Dad’s funeral
15. Hole-in-one. 5th at Remuera, November 1972.
16. Flying solo at Biggin Hill
17. Tandem parachute jump from 10,000 ft and free-falling for a mile
18. Going through the chairs of Lodge, Chapter and KT
19. Being knighted as a Templar
20. Walking on the lava on the live volcano in Hawaii
21. Floating down the Amazon on an inner tube – me, wild monkeys and parrots
22. Cycling through and riding a Bedouin’s camel in Waddi Rum, Jordan
23. O’Cebreiro and the Pyrenees on the Camino
24. The Coast-to-coast
25. Catching a trout using a fly I made
26. Being Chairman of Status Employment
27. Driving a golf ball 350 yards at Tandridge in 1994
28. My best round of golf – 1 over par
29. The championship at Te Aroha Golf Club
30. Holding a snake in South Africa
31. To see Campay Segundo with Barry
32. When I was four I could fly
33. Flying in Israel
34. Riding a horse into the Rose Red City of Petra
35. Ballooning over Kent
36. Panning for gold with Janne
37. Watching all five sons being born
38. Swimming in the Blue Lagoon in Iceland and the Aurora Borealis
39. Private tour of the Pope’s apartments
40. Submarine ride at night at Barabados
41. Racing up and down The Momument (to the great Fire of London) with the kids
42. Jessie James’ Cave at Meramec caverns near St Louis
43. Elvis Graceland Tour
44. My 40th b’day in Tatsfield with my butler, my 50th b’day at Ripley Arts Centre and my 60th in NZ
45. George’s christening in Westminster Abbey
46. Paul McCartney Concert at Wembley Arena
47. Saying goodbye to Mum, Dad, Marion, Gail and Doris
48. Carrying ‘the flag’ at Cornwall Park Primary School
49. Maori burial cave at Bethell’s Beach
50. Gannets at Murawaii
51. Eating cows foot stew in Nigeria
52. Les Miserables – West End, Le Touquet, Brighton and the book
53. Being with Elizabeth on her first Gondola ride (and mine) in Venice
54. Jumping into Lake Rotoiti at night at the baths
55. Atop Mt Pauanui with the boys doing their doctor impressions
56. Coq au vin in France
57. Flying over Christ’s Statue in Rio
58. Neaps & tatties in a bothy in NW Scotland
59. Sport in Indianapolis – Indy 500 practice, helicopter ride and American Football
60. Deep snow near Warlingham
61. Boiling over on the Grossglockner Pass with 27 hairpin bends
62. Fitting a complete central heating, gas boiler and cold water system in Chatham Avenue
63. Seeing Liverpool win the European Cup at Wembley
64. Airboat on lake near Orlando – and the alligator on her nest
65. Empire State Building and the UN Building tour
66. Table Mountain
67. Jet Boat near Hamner, NZ
68. Junk Boat ride in Hong Kong
69. The Slave House in Dakar, Pink Lake, Baobob trees, fishermen in Senegal
70. The Belfry, Wentworth, The London Club, East Sussex National
71. The Technology Channel Website
72. All the TMAs
73. Tour of the kitchens in The Grand Brighton and The Savoy, London
74. Jamie Oliver’s cooking
75. Beating Retreat and sitting in the front row on the Parade Ground for Trooping The Colour
76. Father Xmas in Lapland
77. Swimming to Otaramarae Post Office with George (the Labrador)
78. Penny’s wedding in Denmark
79. The craters, memorial and tunnels at the battlefield of Vimy Ridge
80. Abu Simbel (The Temple of Ramesses II) in Egypt
81. Flying in the wind tunnel and swimming with dolphins in Israel
82. Amalfi Coast in Italy, Pompeii and Capri
83. The Knights Templar Hospital in Malta
84. Second-hand teeth-seller, boiled sheeps’ heads, belly dancer and snake charmer in Marrakesh
85. Standing under a natural hot waterfall in St Lucia
86. The players’ tunnel at Old Trafford
87. Mardi Gras Dancers in Sao Paulo
88. Publishing Business Software Review
89. XR3i and Skid Pan at Brands Hatch and Rally Driving at Silverstone
90. Hitting golf balls at a pontoon target in Lake Taupo and the floating golf ball driving range in Manchester
91. Going up inside the Arch at St Louis
92. Summer school for the Open University, 2003
93. The play Medea with Diana Rigg, 1993
94. Buena Vista Social Club with Barry
95. My sons singing at St Mary’s, Winchester Cathedral, Canterbury Cathedral and Royal Albert Hall, Barry and Sine Nomine Singers
96. All aboard the Northern Star, to England via Tonga, Tahiti, Acapulco, Panama, Curacao, and Lisbon
97. My first overseas adventure – Sydney, Australia
98. Black water rafting at Waitomo
99. Quad biking with Claduia and Nick and visiting the deserted village
100. Six weeks in Auckland hospital, age 13
101. Rock divers at Acapulco
102. Activities: balloon ride, gliding, paint balling, to the top of St Paul’s, caving, Tarzan swing in jungle and more
103. Nick, George and I saw Beckenham’s goal of the decade for Man U v Wimbledon
104. The Mosque in Istanbul
105. Archaeology dig at Lewes with Barry
106. The London Loop
107. Grand canyon

Ten places (or more) to go or things to do before I die – but highly unlikely

1. Easter Island
2. North Pole or Antartica
3. Blue Train from Joburg to Cape Town
4. Timbuktu
5. Trans Siberian Express
6. Climb Mt Fuji
7. See the Wilderbeests in Masai Mara
8. Cross the Sahara
9. Visit an oil rig in the North Sea
10. Monarch Butterfly migration Michoacun, Mexico
11. Lake Titicaca, Peru and Machu Picchu
12. Angel Falls, Venezuela
13. Havana, Cuba

1. Walk Hadrian’s Wall, the Pennine Way, the London Loop (done April 2005) and the Southern Coast to Coast
2. Walk or bike ride from Auckland to Wellington
3. Kiss the Blarney Stone
4. Play golf at St Andrews
5. Do a mini trialthlon (400m swim, 10k bike, 5k run)
6. Live long enough to see a great grandchild
7. Cross the Simpson Desert and The Ghan from Adelaide to Alice Springs and Great Ocean Road, Australia
8. Spend a week each with Ian and George (and maybe progress to the grandchildren). I’ve already been walking with Derek and on an archaeological dig with Barry and will go to Phoenix with Nick in August
9. Visit 6 more countries to get my total to 60 – Russia and China are favourites

6 firsts in my life

• First wife‚ Marion Sydney Dotter. I proposed to her over the phone from my office, a room above the gatehouse of the Pye Television factory in Lowestoft where I was a trainee programmer. The honeymoon in Cornwall was cut short by bad weather but I did get to see England win the World Cup on the box.
• First Car‚ Ford Anglia Estate, blue with a white roof, licence number 618 DAH. A great car until it got a ticket for being parked in a side road without parking lights. I was arrested by a copper about my age and given the standard warning about 'anything I said could be taken down in writing and used in evidence against me. An older bobby heard all this, told him not to be so bloody stupid and me to piss off and bring my licence back to the station in a hurry.
• First Flight‚ A single engine bi-plane sightseeing around Rotorua. All I can remember is seeing mountain craters and being thrilled at spotting the plane's shadow racing along the ground beneath us.
• First journey abroad‚ Australia, 1964, with Mum to visit Gail. I was working for Allied Industries and they sent me to see a number of factories in Sydney. A young man my age set me up on a blind date and took us up to the Blue Mountains. She was dead uninterested in me.
• First Day at School‚ Cornwall Park Primary School, 1948. Why were all those kids crying? I was at that school until I was 12 - Primmer 1 to 4 and Standard 1 to 6. In Standard 2 I made up a sentence using the word bath: 'I have my bath on Saturday night' to which the teacher said: 'Do you only have a bath once a week? Ugh!' In Standard 5 I helped a teacher with morning assembly and, because of the wind, some of the kids in the playground couldn't hear. I burst out laughing when his command "Hands up all those who can't hear me' didn't achieve the desired results.
• First Birth‚ I wasn't too sure about this at all. It wasn't the thought of the pain and the suffering, but somehow this didn't seem real. After all, the only involvement I'd had in the whole process had been months ago, and in any case this wasn't really happening to me. And I'd just bought a new set of golf clubs. Things have improved, but in those days the entire medical team treated you as a bloody nuisance, whose only value was in keeping this bunch of breeder pacified until they could get their scrubbed and disinfected mitts on the objects of the exercises - the babies. Ian came with relative ease. Oh, I don't mean to minimise the pain and effort Marion went through. But a few jabs and a slit at the appropriate time and out he popped. But no one told me about the afterbirth. God it was enormous and lumpy! And no one told me that I wouldn't feel anything resembling love for this tiny bundle for months to come.

Jokes that amused me

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are discussing things that go very fast. 'The fastest thing in the world,' says the Englishman, 'has to be electricity. As soon as you turn on the switch, so the light goes on.'

'Oh no,' says the Scotsman, 'it has to be blinking.'

'Blinking?', the other two say.

'Yes blinking. It's so fast you can't even see it in front of your own eyes.'

'No, you are both wrong,' says the Irishman. 'The fastest thing in the world is diahorea. Only last night I was out down the pub, had my usual 10 pints of Guiness and stopped off for a curry on the way home. But something must have been wrong with the tandoori chicken cause I started feeling pains in my tummy. So upstairs I raced to the loo, but before I could turn on the light or blink my eyes, I'd shit myself!'

Here's a joke Derek told us maybe a hundred times too many:

Two biscuits were walking down the road, right. And one crossed the road and got run over, right. So what did the other one say? Oh crumbs!

Says the policeman to the wife, having pulled over a couple who are having an argument: "Does he always talk to you like that, Mam?" "Only when he's drunk.

A bloke goes into a pub and orders a beer. ‘Certainly sir, that’ll be 2p’. ‘Are you sure?’ says the bloke. ‘Certainly. While you are drinking that, can I get you something to eat? Tonight’s special is the mixed grill: fillet steak, lamb chops, bacon, sausage, chips, peas, mushrooms and tomato, all for 20p.’ ‘That sounds fantastic,’ says the bloke, ‘but how can you afford to sell stuff at these prices? ‘Oh, sir, I’m not the owner, he's upstairs doing to my wife what I'm doing to his business down here.’

What would you do if a bird crapped on your car. I'd dump her.

Lovers agree to try to communicate thirty years after one of them dies. This happens, they talk, he says sex morning noon and night, she says is that what heaven is really like, he says no, I'm a rabbit in Central Australia.

President Bush visits the Queen at Buckingham Palace and confides to her that he is thinking of making America a Kingdom. ‘No, no’, she says, ‘for it to be a kingdom you have to be a King and that you certainly are not.’

‘Then maybe I’ll make it a Principality,’ he says.

‘No, no, first you have to be a Prince and a prince you certainly are not.’

‘Then how about an empire?’

‘No, no. For that you first have to be an Emperor, and an Emperor you certainly are not.

I think you are doing just fine as a Country.’

New Word Definitions (by courtesy of ‘I’m sorry I’ll read that again’)

• Scum: It has arrived
• Hogmanay: Someone who has collected too many impressionist paintings
• Copulate: The time a policemen turns up in an emergency
• Aromatic: A clever device used by Robin Hood
• Insolent: Someone who has fallen off the Isle of Wight ferry
• Counterpane: A boring person who works at the Post Office
• Five aside: the act of killing a boy band
• Piston: Someone who is taken advantage of

Words that have moved me

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge

`I've spoken of the shining city all my political life, but I don't know if I ever quite communicated what I saw when I said it. But in my mind was a tall proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, wind-swept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace - a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity, and if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get there.'

'That's how I saw it, and see it still.'

`And how stands the city on this winter night? More prosperous, more secure and happier than it was eight years ago. But more than that: after 200 years, she still stands strong and true on the granite ridge, and her glow has held steady no matter what storm. And she's still a beacon, still a magnet for all the Pilgrims from all the lost places who are hurtling through the darkness, toward home.'

`We've done our part. And as I `walk off into the city streets', a final word to the men and women of the Reagan Revolution - the men and women across America who for eight years did the work that brought America back:'

'My friends, we did it. We weren't just marking time; we made a difference.

We made the city stronger, we made the city freer - and we left her in good hands. All in all, not bad, not bad at all. And so, goodbye. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.'
President Ronald Reagan Farewell address to the United States January 11, 1989

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking.
Katherine Cebrian

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
Totie Fields

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand words that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.
Stephen Cummings Aged 24 Killed by terrorists Ulster 8 March 1989

I was first a bogtrotter (in Ireland), din a cobbler, din an immigrant, din a weary (Private Soldier), din a corpril, din a sargint, and now I'm a commissioned officer and Captain fur life ...... and gintleman, by act of Congress.
Captain Gerald Russell

The whites told only one side. Told it to please themselves. Told much that is not true. Only his best deeds, only the worst deeds of the Indians, has the white man told.
Yellow Wolf, Nez Pierce

Satisfaction comes from giving up wishing I was somewhere else or doing something else. Plain and Simple.
A Woman's Journey to the Amish Sue Bender

At the rate of progress since 1800, every American who lived into the year 2000 would know how to control unlimited power. To him the nineteenth century would stand on the same plane as the fourth - equally childlike - and he would only wonder how both of them, knowing so little, and so weak in force, should have done so much.
Henry Adams, 1907.

When my brother and I built and flew the first man-carrying flying machine, we thought we were introducing into the world an invention which would make further wars practically impossible.
Orville Wright, 1917.

Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realise it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognise it as such.
Henry Miller.

What would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless. I would blow my sphincter out of my backside like one of those unrolling paper streamers you get at children's parties - I dare say I would even give it a merry toot - and bleed to a messy death in my sleeping bag.
Bill Bryson A Walk in the Woods

"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
A. Whitney Brown